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THESE ARE SKITS I GOT FROM A DIFFERENT WEB PAGE I HAVE THE LINK IN MY LINKS WHERE YOU CAN GET MORE
The Adventures Of Davy In The Toilet!!!
Davy:Help guys ! I fell in the toilet !
Mike:Better get him,Micky.
Micky:Must I ?
Peter:It's your turn ! I got him out last time !
Mike:And I got him out the time before that !
Micky:Okay fine then
Davy:Help help I'm sinking !
Micky:Coming luv!
Peter:narf.
Mike:Don't ask.
Peter:Oh..
Micky:{goes into bathroom}Phew.What did you eat ?
Davy:No matter,just help me ! It's crawling !
Mike:Ew..
Peter:He's really stuck,we should help.
Mike:I'll get the rope.
Micky:Hurry ! He's sinking !
Davy:Help ! Help !
Mike:Hush.Look,we gotta get him outta there.We need a tambourine !
Davy:{sinks all the way in}Blub blub blub..
Peter:We lost him.
Micky:I feel I could have done more.
Davy:Blub blub blub{swims back up}
Mike:Hey Davy man you're back !
Duh..ah choking help me..crap down throat..narf
Peter:We missed you too.
Micky:{pulls him out}
Mike:Davy,man,you gotta stop doing this.
Micky:We'll have to move you back to the litter box.
Davy:Not again !
Peter:Sorry..we have to.
Davy:Fine..{goes into litter box}*fart*
Mike:narf
Davy:zort
Peter:kretch
Micky:Kretch?
Peter:Yeah you know, kretch.
Micky:Oh yeah, okay right.Kretch heh heh.
Davy:I'm Scouse.
Peter:I'm Randy
Micky:I'm Git
Mike:and I'm Dolt
All:remindind you to save the texas prarie stoat.
Mike and Micky:blupy blup
Peter and Davy:blupy blup
Peter:narf.
Micky:kretch.
Mike:Stop that ! It's silly !
Davy:*poot* sorry !

~end~

You Cant Say That Word in a Skit!
Peter:Hmmm, no that wouldnt match.. uh.. no that has too much yellow
Micky:[walks in] hey pete whatcha doin?
Peter:oh nothing, just trying to pick out an outfit for the first day of school
Micky:oh.. how about this? [micky snaps his fingers and peter finds himself in a red shirt and gray pants like they always wear
Peter:hmmm. not bad! i like it!
Micky:yeah.. me too [snaps his fingers and his shirt changes from blue to red]c'mon lets get the others. [walk to living room]
Mike:[dressed same as Micky&Peter] hey i like yer outfits guys.
Davy:*bing*[appears][wearing a pink dress with yellow leggings] yeah theyre ok i guess
Peter:why thank you.. uh.. i must say i havent met you before
Micky:Peter, thats davy..
Peter:it is? that dress just threw me off
Mike:Peter, he always wears dresses
Peter:I know that, ive just never seen him wear THAT dress. pink is really your colour, davy!
Davy:[blushing and fluttering eyelashes] why thank you!
Peter:heh heh.. yer welcome.. [blushes]
Micky:[slaps peter] Peter! wake up! Your becoming attracted to davy!
Peter:uh.. OH GOD NO! [starts to cry]
Mike:Oh.. oh peter, dont cry!
Peter:b-b-b-but i dont want to be q-q-q-
Micky: oh no.. your not um.. can we say that word in this skit?
producer:uh.. yes im pretty sure..
Micky:ok, dont worry peter, your not q-
producer:no no! stop! hold it!
Micky:what?
producer:you cant say that, sorry. you have to use the correct term
Mike:which is..
Davy:homosexual [smiles]
producer:yes thats the word. very good davy.
Davy:[starts purring] purrrr..
Peter:oh.. awe [smiles] pretty kitty [pets davy]
Micky:PETER YOU ARE NOT HOMOSEXUAL!
Peter:huh?
Mike:[nudging micky] its too big
Micky:wha?
Mike:the word, homosexual, its too big for him to understand.. let me try something.
Micky:oh, ok. go ahead.
Mike:Look, um Peter, uh.. well.. um
Peter:[looks up still petting davy]yes michael?
Mike:uh.. you already have a girlfriend! randy!
Peter:oh.. randy! how dare i forget her!
Micky:yeah, yeah, youve got randy..[drifts off into git coma]lalala
Peter:oh, i love her dearly, she makes me so..
Mike:randy?
Peter:mike! its not that kind of relationship!
Randy:[walking out of closet] it isnt?
Peter:randy! [runs to randy and kisses her]
Mike:yeah.. not that kind of relationship..
Peter:ok, maybe it is [randy and peter walk out the door]
Davy:awe man [frowns]
Micky:[back in monkeeland]come on davy, he has a girl..
Mike:yeah, a man in love has the strength of, uh.. cheese.
Davy:narf.. meow
Mike:Micky.. put the "cat" out.
Micky:ok [picks up davy and puts him out]
Mike:narf.. moo

Monkees In Black
Peter: Hey fellas! We got a telegram!
Mike: Oh, really? What does it say?
Peter: mib.....
Mike: Mib?
Micky: Mib? Lemme see that! [grabs card] No, no no! It says M-I-B!
Mike: M.I.B? [takes cards, turns it over] 2213 Penny Lane...
Peter: Penny lane is in my ears......
Micky: Peter! That's a Beatles song! We're Monkees!
Peter: And in my eyes... oops sorry!
Mike: Well whoever sent this wants us to go tp 2213 Penny lane....
Micky: Yeah, c'mon [they drive off in monkee mobile]
Peter: I wonder where we're going...
Mike: Maybe they want us for a fashion shoot!
Micky: Fashion shoot? MAybe theyll give us a check!
Peter: Oh, Ed McMahon never gives to the poor. What do you think, davy?
Micky: Davy? Mike: I KNEW we forgot something! [they drive back home]
Micky: Davy? [looks under ashtray] Davy?
Mike: [searches gummy bear bowl] Nope, hes not visiting the gummy bears.
Peter:[in bathroom] I found him guys. Hes asleep on the fuzzy toilet seat cover again!
Mike: Dont wake him up!!!
Peter: Why not?
Mike: Well when hes asleep we can take advantage of him!
Micky: Mike! You naughty, naughty boy!
Mike: No! I mean we can, well then he cant bother us!
Micky: Oh Good idea, Mike!
Peter: Good. I didnt want to make advances on Davy.....
Mike: Lets just..... go. [they drive off]
Micky: Well..... we're here.
Peter: What should we do now?
Mike: We get out of the car and go inside!
[they do so. inside is a large white empty room w/elevator music and 4 chairs]
Micky: Peter why are you dancing?
Peter: Because the porpoise song is on!
Mike: Hey! Its the muzak version of the porpoise song! [starts to dance, drops davy] Ooops....
Davy: Ow mommy mommy! Me head hurts!
Mike: Quit whining Davy, Youre a grown man!
Micky: He doesnt look too grown to me.
Peter: And hes not much of a man....
Davy: Am too! Im a.... SHORT MAN!
Micky: No youre not, your a MONKEE MAN!
Mike: Well... Im a TALL MAN!
Peter: Im a....... EGG MAN!
Micky: NO youre not, youre the dummy.
Peter: Im always the dummy...
John Cleese: [floating down from the ceiling on a llama] Stop that, its silly.
Micky: Why are you here?
John Cleese: I dunno.... [explodes]
[four mirror images of the Monkees walk in]
Peter: Look! Its Elvis!
Mike: Peter, not everyone is Elvis....
Micky2: [walks up to Micky] Hello, twin.
Micky: Uh... hi Im Micky.
Micky2: Well so am I.
Mike: {to mike2} So, I guess youre my twin.
Mike2: Howd you guess?
Mike: Wow, i never knew I was so... attractive
Peter2: [pointing to Peter] Look! Its Elvis!
Peter: Really?! Where! Where!
Mike: Theyre definitely twins....
Davy: There must be a mistake!
Micky: What is it, Davy?
Davy: I know i cant be THAT short!
Davy2: I didnt beleive it either until I saw you, Davy.
Peter2: Please, sit down.
Micky: Since when did Peter have any authority? [laughs] Peter, authority!
Mike2: Here in Monkees In Black, Peter is always master....
Micky: [stops laughing] what?
Peter2: Anyways, I guess youre wondering why we called you here.
Peter: Actually, Im wondering why you didnt just call us... I mean that tele-
Peter2: Does it look like we have a phone?
Peter: [looks around] you never know....
Micky2: Look, hopefully youve noticed that we are youre twins. Everybody has a twin, just that most of us are separated at birth. Now you four became a band with a tv show, and we became Monkees In Black, or MIB-
Peter2: Or mib....
Peter: See? I told you so!
Mike2: Well, we think its only fair that we switch for a while....
Micky: Well, I guess thats fair.
Peter2: Well you guessed right. All you really need is this thing that erases your memory. Of course Peter gets to keep it. [hands the flasky thingy to Peter]
Mike: Oh no... Peter be careful with that. Dont press anything!
Davy2: Well we'll be leaving now, Bye!
Micky: WAIT!!! Shouldnt we be wearing black?
Micky2: Okay fine [snaps fingers, original Monkees are in black suits] Ok, bye! [door shuts, silence]
Peter: Im bored.... and this suit is itchy.
Davy: Yeah, I miss my puppy... yum!
Mike: Davy you are disgusting.
Micky: We can always play with the memory eraser!
Peter: Woohoo! [points it at Micky]
Micky: No, not me! Him! [points to Davy]
Davy: Look theres an alien on the ceiling!
Peter: [looks up] Wow! My instincts tell me we should do something about it!
Mike: Peter, really. Stop acting smart! Its scary....
Micky: Well Peter, do something!
Peter: Ok [uses the flashy thing on it]
Alien: Uh.....
Peter: Micky, give him a new memory.
Micky: Ok, uh.... you died in a spaceship crash... so youre... dead.
Alien: Ok [dies]
Peter: Um... Im bored again.
Mike: Me Too...
Micky: Lets get outta here! [they walk outside to the MIB car parked on the curb]
Mike: No! I refuse to drive a Pontiac! I want my GTO!!
Davy: Well, how do we get home?
[just then the Mystery Machine pulls up]
Peter: Look! Its Scooby Doo!
Shaggy: Hi guys! Need a ride?
Micky: We sure do....
Shaggy: Hop in [they do so] Where to?
Mike: Laurel Canyon, you know here we live.
Velma: So... why were you.... there?
Peter: Its a long story [tells story] and thats why we were there.
Velma: Oh... ok. Well we're here.
Micky: Well thank you. [they get out]
Peter: So.. do we go in and tell them to leave?
Mike: Yeah I guess [beats down door]
Micky, Mike & Peter: FREEZE!!
Micky2: Wh-wh-what?
Mike: Ok, we're switching back. Being Monkees In Black sux!
Davy2: B-b-but....
Micky: But nothing! Peter, flashy thing them!
Peter: Ok! [does so] Go home!
Micky2: Narf... ok. [leaves]
Peter2: Fine then. [leaves]
Mike2: Alrighty we're leaving. [leaves]
Davy2: Nice place you got here [leaves]
Mike: Well.... theyre gone.
Peter: Yea! Its time for Mr.Ed!
[they sit around to watch Mr.Ed]
Peter Noone: [walks out of bathroom] Hello!
Micky: AAAHH!!! It's Noone!
Mike: [throws Peter Noone out the door] I thought we told you to leave us alone...
Micky: Well that ends another laugh riot..
Peter: We're the Monkees reminding you to....
All: Save The Texas Prairie Chicken!
Peter & Davy: Blupy blup.
Mike & Micky: Blupy blup.

~the end~

HEY HERE'S ANOTHER MONKEES ONE BUT I WROTE IT MYSELF HAHAHAHAHAHA <---EVIL SCIENTIST LAUGH

Davy: Peter do you like my new dress I just got it and see there is a matching purse and hat
Peter: I don't like that sort of stuff anymore Davy, please stop trying to seduce me
Mike: Ya man it?etting kind of old
Micky: Well I don?ind *raw* come here Davy (he pats his knee)
Davy: Coming doll (runs on tiptoes to Micky and sits on his lap)
Micky: So were did you get that dress it look delicious
Mike: Oh god get a room you two
Davy: No I want Peter to see who he is missing out on
Peter: (unsurely) I don?. care
Davy: You don?ound very confident in that statement
Peter: HUH
Mike: Davy you used to many big words try again
Davy: Fine. Are you sure?
Micky: Wait! What about me are you just using me
Davy: No pussy cat
Micky: Oh ok (in a sigh of relief) just making sure
Mike: This is all getting a little to weird for me I think I'm going to leave
Peter: No Michael please don?eave I need you here
Davy: Mike go ahead and take Micky with you lets see if Peter can resist me then
Mike: (Hitting Davy) Bad homosexual (hitting Peter) TORK you two kiss and make up so I can get on with my life without barfing all the time
Davy: Oooo good idea come here Peter(Davy puckers up)
Peter: No (and he slaps Davy)
Davy: Ow and I think you smudge my makeup
Micky: O gosh I?toned
Mike: Ok where the hell did that come from
Peter: Erica just wanted to right that line in and it?he truth
Mike: Erica who?
Peter: You know that girl that is upsest with me ooo she? hotty
Micky: Ya I remember her she has a pretty hott sister Johanna
Mike: Where the hell is this coming from
Peter: Erica?ister made her right her in
Mike: O ok well lets get on with the skit
Davy: Ok where was I ohya Peter just slapped me ok well here we go (Davy slaps Peter)
Peter: Ow
Davy: Oh crackers I just broke a nail does anyone have an emery board
Mike: Did you just say crackers
Davy: Yup do you have a problem with that
Micky: I think it?ute
Peter: You know what I?eaving now (Peter leaves)
Davy: (yelling at Micky) See what you made him do now he?one
Micky: I knew it you are using me
Mike: Well look who just caught on
Micky: I?eaving (leaves)
Mike: Well Davy looks like we are finally alone (Mike batting his eyelashes at Davy)
Davy: Well look at that
The End

ALL THESE WERE WRITTEN IN GOOD FUN AND FOR A LAUGH AND AS DAVY WOULD SAY 'DON'T GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST'